Failure

Well...geez guys.  I'm feeling like a really big failure.  I don't know why I thought joining the ultimate blog party was such a good idea.  Not that I don't enjoy joining such a blog party.  On the other hand, I really, truly enjoy meeting new bloggers!  However, this was just a really bad time.  In just the last week we've completely packed up and moved from one home to another.  Not to mention tearing out an entire chain link fence, and then cleaning out a very leafy, tree-y fence line to get ready for a privacy fence.  Of course lucky me now has a nasty case of poison ivy.  My wrist, side, arm, neck, ear and face.  I've had a bit of free time, but I've tried to using it to do some unpacking, cleaning, or sleeping.

Besides all this moving, packing, unpacking and fence tearing we've been living with my parents in our new "home".  I grew up in this home, and to be honest used to have very fond memories of it.  Three years ago, after getting married I could have easily lived here happily.  Now my heart just aches.

It's so weird having so many houses close by.  I hear sirens for ambulances and the police...a lot. When I have my windows open, I can hear neighbors talking.  I can no longer walk right out doors and check on my chicks, pick a flower, go on a quiet walk, or check on my garden.  There is no quiet, no adventure outside the door.  Worse even, I thought I would be happier as I can visit the farm as often as I'd like.  However, going there is more depressing, and bittersweet than I'd like.  I'm hoping as time goes on that will get better.  I think the hardest thing right now is that everyone thinks I should be so happy.  I am happy in a way.  I know this house is bigger, I know I have what a lot of people don't, and maybe I should be more thankful.  But no one understands that I'd trade it all to be back where I was.

Sorry guys, I don't want to sound like Debbie Downer!  I just want to be honest!

Last but not least, if you followed me anytime recently and I have not followed you back, feel free to leave a comment or send me an e-mail if you'd like so I can follow you!