12/2/10

Oh Life, Stop Beating Me

Yesterday morning, my husband and I both struggled to get out of bed.  We had hit the snooze for thirty minutes.  At 5:30 AM, it just seemed too early.  Husband got up got dressed, and felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.  My sister was calling to let him know my mother was in the hospital, the entire family (minus some grandchildren and in laws) were there.  I am a 23 year old woman, but hearing that made me feel like a 5 year old standing alone and lost in a crowded store.  It is such devastating news to hear.  I have two sisters, they are both much more open with how they feel and their emotions.  I am a much more reserved, and private when it comes to my emotions, but hearing this the tears started falling.  I got dressed, and my husband asked me if I wanted him to call in for work.  I didn't know what to say!  Yes, because I knew I needed him.  No, because I know work is important, his job is important, and I didn't want to be selfish and keep him here if I didn't need too.  I just said I didn't know, and he said he was calling in.  I am so glad he did, because I truly needed him.  Over the course of the next hour, we got dressed, talked a bit with my sister, and stopped by my parents house to get my fathers pills.  We had missed a lot of phone calls from my sister, and in them she said something about a blood clot, and also spoke with us on the phone, telling my husband that the nurses said the situation was serious, and that my mother didn't know how serious it was.  That was the hardest to hear.  I just wanted to cry, I just couldn't hold it in.  So I cried, and my husband drove and patted my back, and I prayed.  Everyones different, and I don't know what others may have prayed for.  I just prayed and told God I knew he was in control, and his decisions were ok, but to just help me be strong.  Once we got to the hospital, things went as well as things can go when your moms in the hospital.  We got to talk to the doctor.  She said my mom had a large blood clot in her left lung.  She let us know that there was most likely a clot in my moms leg that was breaking apart and that's what caused the clot in her lung.  The doctor also informed us, that this large clot she did have, moved through my mothers heart, and also through the top of the lung.  Both of those places are what cause blood clots to kill people instantly, but the blood clot just went right through for my mom.  The doctor said the blood clot was wedged at the bottom of the lung, and wouldn't move anymore.  She said the body would take care of it from here.  A few hours later they did a doppler of my moms legs.  For those that don't know a doppler is just a sonogram of your legs.  A few hours after that they told us my mom had no blood clots in her leg!  Which is great to hear.  It means the blood clot just formed, for unknown reasons, and there wasn't a larger clot someplace else.  My mom has to stay in the hospital until at least Sunday, maybe longer.  She will have to be on blood thinners for at least a year.  But she will be ok.  I don't think I could ever thank God enough.

My husband was absolutely amazing through this entire thing.  I am grateful and thankful he knows me like he does.  I can always be myself and say what I feel with him, and know I am safe.  He handled all the phone calls, which I am so grateful for, he kept me smiling and laughing even when I didn't want too.  I was blessed greatly when God gave him to me.  I can't imagine not having him by my side.

I am going to go, I am tired, and have kinda felt like I was getting sick.  Pray for me and my family, especially my mother.  I hope to write more soon.

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