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There
is a lot of talk among youngsters these days about kiss saving. A lot of young ladies, and young men, are
saving their first kiss for their wedding day.
I cannot say that it’s a wrong practice, but I thought I would share
with you my experience. See, my husband
was not my first kiss. And it’s not
something I regret. So, here is my
story.
I
met and fell in love with a boy when I was about 16. It was with this boy that was supposed to be
a good Christian boy, but in a lot of ways was more of a monster. There was a lot of turmoil in our
relationship, but being as we were Christians, and I “loved” him I thought
things would get better. I thought if we
really worked at it, we could make things work.
This is how our relationship was, it was a struggle, and it wasn’t
easy. This was the same boy I “lost” my
first kiss too. At the time the kiss
happened, I tried to convince myself it was perfect. I remember that moment flawlessly. We kissed, and just moments later I was alone
in the bathroom. I remember smiling, but
realizing somewhere inside myself that it wasn’t a real smile. I realized it was just lips on lips, plain,
boring, and anything but spectacular.
This should have been a HUGE red flag, but honestly I didn’t know any
better. Months later the relationship
ended, and it was hard. It took a lot
out of me, it left me broken and hurting.
Then, just a month after that relationship ended, Rob stumbled into my
life. When I met him, I never expected
him to be the one. He was young,
immature, and lost in a lot of ways. I
was broken, resentful, moody, and depressed.
However the moment we met, the moment we started talking it was like
fire and gasoline. We ignited, I poured
out all the poison, all the lies I believed, and he was sharing his heart
too. Months after knowing Rob, we
kissed. It’s funny because he had asked
me several times if I would let him kiss me and I said no. I didn’t know where we were going, and I
didn’t want to make a mistake. Then one
night, we were in a parking lot getting something from a car, and without
saying a word we looked at each other and kissed. It didn’t last very long, there were no
fireworks, but there was something else.
An inexplicable feeling as though at that moment in time we were exactly
where we were meant to be. It was
perfect. It was the beginning of
everything we’ve become.
Some
people would be led to believe that Rob and I’s first kiss wasn’t special
because it wasn’t the first time for either of us. They would say it took something away from
our purity or the excitement of our wedding day. The fact is though, I’m so thankful for
kissing my first boyfriend, I’m so thankful I had that horrible
relationship. I’m thankful I gave away
pieces of myself and got hurt because I know how lucky I am to be with my
husband. I have a challenging, but
effortless relationship with my husband that I never would have had with my
first boyfriend. I know the type of relationship
I could have, and it makes me so incredibly thankful for my best friend and
husband. My husband wasn’t my first
kiss, but he’ll be my last, and that means more to me than any first kiss ever
could.
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