Exhausted Brain...

My brain feels stretched.  There has just been so, so much going on.  I usually don't post on Saturdays, but for me it still feels like Friday!

We finally got a quote for Duke's surgery on Friday.  It was much higher than expected.  3200.00 dollars.  That's a lot of dollars.  Especially considering we'll probably have to do this to his other knee.  My mom and dad who were going to be helping us are basically saying no.

The vet we went too says he can do a repair surgery they have been doing for 30 years that uses nylon to stabilize the joint, and tightens up the muscles around the knee.  Then scar tissue forms and that's what "fixes" the problem.  It's only about 800 dollars.  The problem with this particular surgery is I've heard/read that it's not recommended for dogs over 50 pounds.  The vet says he's done one on a 140 pound dog and he was fine.  He said Duke may not be able to run as fast as he used to, but other than that he should be back to normal.  The recovery period still takes quite awhile, and chances are he'll have more arthritis if we do the nylon surgery.

I totally have to admit this is a huge struggle.  I want what is best for Duke.  I want him to be able to chase his sister, jump in ponds, chase squirrels, and enjoy his life.  I'm scared by doing this nylon stabilization surgery I'll be the one who is lessening his quality of life.  It's not like I can take Duke aside and say, "Well, we love you, and you have knee problems, and we can't afford to fix you, so we're going to half fix you, and you may or may not be ok."  In a few years I don't know how I would feel seeing him in pain and struggling because of the arthritis he may get.  I'd feel so guilty thinking I didn't do enough.

We are trying to find other places that do the TPLO that may be more affordable.  I've heard that some of the colleges in the area that have vet programs will perform the surgery at a lower price.  I guess if we can't find anyway to do the TPLO at a lower price it'll be God's way of saying that's not what we should do.  I just want to do what's right.

I'm also behind on housework.  I feel like I've been on the computer reading, researching, on forums asking questions, and just distracted by all that's going on with Duke, I just haven't been motivated to get things clean. I mean, it's pretty clean now, but not as clean as I want it to be.  Which just brings me thinking about Duke again!  I keep thinking I need to really deep clean and get things ready for after his surgery.  For the first week at least I know I'll be spending lots of time with him and Dutchess getting them on a new schedule.

And to top that off, in an hour I'm supposed to be waking up to go help my mom set up at a craft show!  I thought about going to sleep, but then I realized there was no point as I'd just lie there thinking.

Sorry readers, that this is emotional and raw, but it's just a glimpse in a real life fairy tale.  Please keep us in your prayers!!