10/29/12

Adventures in Life


The last three months have been some of the most unexpected and difficult in my life. A part of me hates to write about all the unexpected crazy, but this is real life, and this is my story.

As everyone who reads this humble little blog knows, we moved in August to a sweet little home on a little slice of land. 2/3rds of an acre to house chickens, gardens, goats and only God could imagine what else. Before moving we had been living in the home I grew up in, as my parents moved out and into my grandfather’s home after his passing. This was a much more tender and fragile situation than anyone knew or could understand. The house I grew up in was my mothers first real home, she spent 25 years of her life cleaning it, loving it, decorating it, and living in it. My husband and I moved in and it didn't quite feel like ours, some of my parents things were still there, and my mother and I are not quite eye to eye when it comes to how things are handled. I am by nature, and God’s own design laid back, whereas my mom is, and always will be a super busy worker bee. Always cleaning, and working, it’s just her nature. We got into a fight about the house, very mean and hurtful things were said on both sides, and my husband and I started house hunting.

In mere weeks, after looking at three homes, we made a decision. We decided to move 30 minutes away, to the place we felt was perfect for us. We had no hesitations, no reservations. It was pretty cozy (aka small), but had two rooms, nice sized kitchen and living room, and best of all that 2/3rds of an acre. We could manage cozy, and we could have our chickens, and eventually all the other critters I could dream of. The house I grew up in would be polished up, and put on the market to be sold. My parents had to make some repairs to it, and were working with real estate agents on getting things appraised and listed. As repairs were made it seemed as though my parents wouldn't be able to get the price the house was worth.

Just weeks after moving to our cozy home, the fateful question was asked, “Would you want to move back to and own Adrian?”

My husband and I laughed. Move again? No thanks. Move to a city house, with neighbors all around? No thanks. To lose our little slice of heaven? No thanks. Knowing that to have goats and a garden I would have to travel to my parents farm every day? No thanks. It was an easy decision, we said no.

A few weeks went by without us thinking a thought about it, when my parents asked again. Again our answer was, no thank you.

A couple weeks more, and the question was posed again. I think this is when we paused and thought about it. To be asked if you want something more than twice, makes you think that maybe there is more too it than what you thought. Maybe this was something God wanted. We thought about it much more seriously. To lose our little slice of heaven made us sad, we were attached, we had everything we wanted there. However, we were in debt, and making payments living there. Our budget was much tighter, though not beyond our means or impossible. There were some repairs that needed to be done, some cosmetic, and some that were probably much more serious and costly. We also took into consideration the distance. We go to my parents at a minimum of once a weekend, and often more than that. Then we also thought of the what ifs. What if something happened to my parents and they needed help, or what if we had children. Where would we put the children?! Although not impossible, things would be very tight with extra bodies of any kind.

We told my parents no, that we still liked our slice of heaven, and the thought of moving made us sick. We started some repairs, and did some painting. In the back of my mind though, I couldn't shake the thought that maybe we should move. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe God was trying to lead us.

My parents asked a few more times, either directly and indirectly, sometimes just jokingly, but we were sure pretty sure we were sticking with where we were. Then something just kind of hit us, and we started thinking about it. We started talking with each other about it, the pros and cons, the good and the bad, the reasons to move and the reasons not too. We couldn't shake the thought of moving out of our minds, even though we were happy with where we were.

I want to take a moment to express the fact that this was a hard decision to consider. More than words could place here. There were so many reasons to stay, and so many to move, and for the longest time we just didn't know what to do. We prayed, we asked my parents, we talked about it, we asked for signs from heaven. Finally, somehow, we made a decision.

A decision to move back. There are more details that could be added, but  I've hit all the important parts. We moved last weekend, and we feel a lot of peace about the decision. There is a lot we've lost, and hopefully more we've gained. So I guess this is it, I’m closing the tumbleweed chapter in the story of my life. Now it’s time to plant roots, and start an entirely new chapter.

I would also like to add that I'm hoping for a different direction when it comes to my blog.  I've struggled with a niche, but may have finally found it.  In the weeks to come expect to see a lot of cooking tutorials, helpful holiday hints, and advice.  You won't want to miss tomorrows post!

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